The Exchange Of Goods

You know how when you sleep over at a guy's house somehow you end up taking his shirt home? Or his jammies? Or in some weird cases his boxers? When you are in a relationship you end up with some of his stuff and he ends up with some of yours. CD's, books, DVD's, jewelry, clothing, presents, letters, etc. Inevitably the relationship ends and you have to do the exchange of goods. I've handled my exchanges a bit differently than most people.

Let's start with the high school boyfriend. I dated him on and off through 4 years of high school and into the first 2 years of college. We had a lot of each other's stuff. When we broke up the final time, I called him and said we needed to exchange the goods. He seemed to feel that we could do that anytime. You know, no hurry. Keep the stuff for a while. I knew he was thinking he could use the exchange of goods later on if he needed to get laid. I told him I would get his stuff to him as soon as possible. Within an hour I had gathered the stuff up. Six years worth of stuff. I put it all in a box, drove to house, and threw it on the front lawn. Sounds crazy I know. At least, I left the shit in the box. I could have strewn it all about.

The Sportscaster is another good story. He was a local celebrity and just the cutest thing I had ever seen. He was also 6'4". That's love at first site for me. We dated for about a year. Our break up was a shock to me. While he was dating me, taking vacations with me, and talking marriage; he was also doing the same with three other girls. You ask how he could do it. Weird work hours. He could tell each of us he was working late when really he was with the one of the others. He'd take one of us to March Madness and another to the Super Bowl. I found out about the other girls accidentally. I didn't even confront him with it. I just took all my jewelry, the books he bought me, the dried flowers, the jammies, basically everything and took it to the TV station. I laid the whole pile (sans box) on the receptionist's desk and said "Delivery for Eric __________." With that I turned around a walked out.

One of the various times The Boy and I broke up I again gathered up all his shit. I had tons of concert shirts, CD's, DVD's, presents from him, his boxers; really just a lot of crap. The Boy lived in a ground floor apartment with a little patio. I gathered up all the remains of our life together and had a friend drive me to his apartment. It was about 2:00a.m. I may have had a few drinks. With my friend looking on I returned his items plus the presents he had given me. I took each and every item and threw it at his patio sliding glass door one at a time. Over the little patio fence. I believe a curse word might have accompanied each item. To this day, I am unsure how I wasn't arrested.

Now don't get me wrong, I can have a civil exchange of goods. Really I can. I've even had an exchange of goods turn into a make up sex session. But being the evil bitch that I am I prefer the more dramatic, statement making exchange of goods. I told you people in the beginning that there was something wrong with me. Don't act so shocked.

Oh and getting back my shit? I said fuck it and bought new stuff.

Comments

[James]

If they fucked you over that bad, why not just pawn their shit. I would. But then again you do claim to be evil so i guess you enjoy the whole poison tongue exchange. I'd personally cut someone's tongue off if they woke me up at 2 in the am throwin my shit at my home. yeah that sounds like the proper course of action.

[SoW]

thank you for exhibiting normal behaviour. man oh man there have been times when i wanted to do some of the stuff u have described but held the higher ground and didn't. and my dear friends wonder why i'm so pessimistic about relationship matter ;) just take care of yourself.