Perfect Kisses

Dinner had been an awkward affair. We were supposed to be discussing our relationship. He had broken up with me a week before. The break-up was one of misunderstandings. I thought he wanted to date other people. He had heard me say to someone "Oh he's going to marry me, he just doesn't know it yet." Yes, I said it but I certainly didn't mean I wanted to marry at the age of nineteen. We had been together since seventh grade. Of course I was silly enough to believe we would be together forever.

So he broke up with me. His reasoning was better to hurt me then than disappoint me later. One of his fraternity brothers swooped in and asked me out. That sufficiently ended the break up in his mind. He didn't want to marry me but he didn't want anyone else to marry me either. Funny, he still feels that way today.

We stood in the doorway between the kitchen and dining room. Close but not touching. Nothing had really been resolved at dinner. We sat in silence most of the time. We stood there staring at one another. We both started to speak at the same time. We both stopped. To this day we still argue about who leaned in first. It doesn't matter anymore. It was a perfect kiss. Soft and gently at first then fierce. I was crying. He was laughing. The break up was resolved. Well, at least for a few more years.

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We were lying on the floor looking through the skylight. Nothing touching but our fingertips. He was moving soon to New York. I told him I just couldn't do a long distance thing. He asked me to reconsider. I said I would. We both knew I wouldn't. I leaned over to kiss him. He tucked my hair behind my ears. I ruffled his with my hand. I playfully kissed his forehead. His eyes. The tip of his nose. Both his cheeks. I finally rested upon his mouth. He gently pushed me back and said, "I could have fallen in love with you".

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I had already told my friends I was only interested in being friends with him. He wasn't my type. He called one Friday night to ask what I was doing. I replied that I was drinking heavily. He found me sitting in the driveway smoking a cigarette with a bottle of wine between my legs. He asked if he could hang out. I said "Why the fuck not." He stayed until five in the morning waiting with me for my roommate to come home. When he left he kissed me on the cheek. I was taken aback. I don't think anyone but my grandmother had ever kissed me on the cheek.

The next night he invited me to his house. I declined. I explained that I wasn't really looking to date anyone. He said, "Neither am I". For some reason, I decided to invite him over to my house because people were already there. At the end of the night he kissed me on the cheek again. My stomach flipped flopped. I placed my hand on his cheek saying, "You really are a sweet boy." We stood there face to face barely touching. Breathing each other in. He softly brushed his lips against mine. I swear to God my knees went weak. It felt like coming home after a long trip. Then he kissed my forehead and left. I knew I was in love. Serious, heart stopping love.

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I want a really perfect kiss.