Dear Friend
Dear Friend,
I know people are offering you advice from all sides. I've even offered you advice. Don't listen to any of them. Well except me. I am the smartest woman in the world ya know. (That's a joke unless you agree with me.) I've been where you are. I know it hurts.
I'm sure every single day is a struggle right now. Eventually, one would hope, it will get better. I'm here to tell you it might not get better for a very long time. It's OK though because you will survive this. You are a strong and wonderful person. It might not feel that way today but you are. I'm not friends with weak people.
Do you want to burst into tears at odd moments during the day? I've been that person. If you want to cry then go ahead and cry. Let loose. Bawl your eyes out. Then go take a nap. It's OK to grieve. It's perfectly acceptable not to want to get out of bed. It's fine to want to stay in your pj's all damn day and not take a bath. What you have been through is traumatic. It is an awful experience. It guts you. I know. I've been there.
Eventually though you will feel better. One day you will wake up and be the person you used to be... only better. You will have learned from this. You might be more cautious in the future. You might be a bit cynical and a bit bitter but you will survive. I'm sure it doesn't feel that way now. Right now, I'm sure you feel like you will die. You feel like you might have a nervous breakdown. You know what? Go ahead, flip out if you want to. Don't let anyone around you minimize what you have been through. Go fucking nuts if you have to. Someday, I promise, you will be better.
Eventually, perhaps years down the line, you will think of this. You might even laugh at how devastated you thought you were. I did. As hard as it is to hear this right now, things will work out exactly the way they are supposed to. And don't get exasperated with me for saying so. It sounds cliche but it so true. I thought I wanted something more than life itself. Looking back, I would be in a helluva bad place if God had answered all my prayers on that one. It might not feel so now but what has happened could possibly be the best thing to ever happen to you. Go ahead and grieve now. It's OK, I give you permission even if no one else will. I'm always here for you if you need me. I love you.
Boy is this what I needed today. Did all those things yesterday and well didn't feel a whole lot better. I know someday I will, unless this was a jab, then I got suckered!
Why would this be a jab?
Posted by:Des | Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 09:00 AM
Fabulous. Simply Fabulous.
Glad you liked it.
Posted by:JuneBug | Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 09:16 AM
I couldn't agree more.. I have several people in my life who need to read this. It's what I've been trying to say, but you've managed to say it so much better. Thanks.
Sadly, I think everyone needs to hear it at least once in ther life.
Posted by:Sara | Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 10:50 AM
It's what I needed to read today. Than you very much.
The Mad Dater
"Because there's a Bastard in all of us"
I hope it helped.
Posted by:The Mad Dater | Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 11:52 AM
Thanks.
You are quite welcome.
Posted by:Cindy | Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 04:42 PM
Wow. This wasn't meant for me, but it was really nice to hear regardless.
Posted by:Croaky | Tuesday, January 24, 2006 at 11:16 PM
How I wish someone could have said this to me a year ago and how I wish I could have believed it back then. I didn't know until I lived it that it would be possible to come out the other side as a proponent of the cliches, but you are completely right. Your friend is lucky to have you.
Posted by:misplacedpom | Wednesday, January 25, 2006 at 01:50 PM
powerful
Posted by:LT | Wednesday, January 25, 2006 at 06:23 PM
I'm going to print that out and keep it for when I need it. It's awesome and I thank you.
Posted by:Hazel Hazel | Wednesday, January 25, 2006 at 07:05 PM
Thanks for posting this. I keep thinking that because it's been 10 months since the divorce, i should be a-okay by now. And when i'm not, I get frustrated with myself and beat me up a little more.
But I think it's still in the realm of normal, and I will get through it eventually.
I wish you all the best.
Posted by:trouble | Monday, May 08, 2006 at 09:54 AM
um, has you been readin me blog??? or is it just fate that ya said....." I'm sure every single day is a struggle right now. Eventually, one would hope, it will get better. I'm here to tell you it might not get better for a very long time. It's OK though because you will survive this. You are a strong and wonderful person. It might not feel that way today but you are. I'm not friends with weak people.
Do you want to burst into tears at odd moments during the day? I've been that person. If you want to cry then go ahead and cry. Let loose. Bawl your eyes out. Then go take a nap. It's OK to grieve. It's perfectly acceptable not to want to get out of bed. It's fine to want to stay in your pj's all damn day and not take a bath. What you have been through is traumatic. It is an awful experience. It guts you. I know. I've been there. " this so applies to me in a few ways........thx for makin me feel so not alone.......yer never gonna know how much me appreciates it..........thx a tons
Posted by:newfieswoman | Thursday, September 14, 2006 at 02:37 PM