I Wish

I wish I knew why things went wrong with us.  I need closure and I don't know how to get it.  I realize that it has been a few years and most normal people would be over this but the way things ended... well I need answers.  I often think about emailing you and just asking you why.  I think, while I was away, you had already gotten involved with her.  But see I don't know if that is true.  And it kills me.  I can't email you and ask you though because I have too much pride.

I wish you were the person I always thought you were if only to make myself feel less stupid.  How could I have been so wrong about you?  And how can you still be such a selfish asshole?  Whose built that way?

I wish I knew if you still thought about me.  I reached out to you once and you ignored me.  How do people just cut other people out of their lives?  I wish I knew.  I don't understand how one day someone can be an integral part of your life and the next you don't even have the time of day for them. 

And you, I wish you would just go the fuck away.  Seriously.

Comments

[Salena]

I have one that I feel that way about too. It blows

If only it were one. This post is about 4 different people. I'm seriously sick.

[LilyParrot]

I feel that way about all of them, even the new ones. The one that really drove me crazy haunted me for five years, during which we didn't speak. Then, in a moment of sheer insanity, I saw him when I was less in New York. We got drunk and slept together. I felt terrible about it after it happened, but oddly enough, I now feel much less obsessed with him in general.

Maybe I should hunt #1 down and sleep with him.

[Nikki]

My sentiments about my ONE exactly. No closure, so conversation, no answers after 2+ years together. who IS built that way? been a year now since it ended, and still i was holding on. and wanting answers. but i just found out for sure that he was with her for at least a month before we broke up. I wanted to believe he was better than that. but he is not. and now i dont need any answers or closure. that was enough to leave it behind, if only now i could forgive, or at least forget.

[mamasgotmoxie]

whew honey... i hope that this same time next year you can look back on this blog entry and just laugh!!

sometimes you need time and space from a situation to see it for what it really is. it's only then that you realize you were really wasting your time any ol' way.

so honey, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, do things that you enjoy, forget about that man (hard i know, but you have to!!), and move on with your life...

hey, sounds like he has so why should he be the only one with joy?!

that's just my two cents 'cause i've been there, done all of that!!

[Paradox Phillic]

Actually for me "Whose built that ways?" sums it all.
Feels a little better to know i am not alone who feels this way :)