I'm Really Quite Hateful

So these people are supposed to have a baby this week.  UGH!  Really that's all I can think to say about it.  I like babies.  I really do but the thought of these two having a baby makes me ill.  And that makes me a mean- spirited bitch.

I do not get along with the husband even though we have the same grandparents.  I know for a fact I am  related to him and I swear to God I sometimes do not see how that is even possible.  He is the epitome of a southern bigot.  I could give you examples but I really don't feel like showing just how ignorant certain members of my family can be.

These people are also adopting a baby.  The wife has some sort of medical condition that means she has to be on a super strict diet while she is pregnant.  She doesn't have any problem getting pregnant or staying pregnant; she just has to eat certain foods while pregnant.  Actually she's is supposed to eat certain foods all the time or actually avoid certain foods but she never adhered to it until she decided to have a baby.  Anyway, she has decided that while they want two kids she doesn't want to be pregnant twice.  So they have started the adoption process because, ideally, they want the kids to be about two years apart.

This weekend I had to go to a family function.  I usually avoid these like the plague but it just could not be helped.  In fact, I have to go to two more this month and that's not counting having to go fawn over this baby when it's born. anyway, at this function the husband's other grandmother said to me, "How do you feel about _____ and _____ having a baby before you?"  I replied, "Hadn't really thought about it."  She said, "Well sweetie you better get on it or they'll have two kids before you even have one."  Now here are some choices of what my response might have been:

A)  I'll try to find someone to impregnate me tonight.

B)  Perhaps I'll just adopt.  Of course it will be easier for me since I won't insist on a white baby.

C)  I'm really not into kids.  I like to spend all my time doing drugs and fucking random strangers.

D)  Do you really think I should get pregnant?  Just imagine it... me on my throne expecting everyone to wait on me hand and foot while I yell, "Can you not see that I am pregnant?" anytime anyone asks me to do something for myself.

Comments

[Petitedov]

I like C. I would go with high sarcasm and shock value.

[Dating Trooper]

Too freakin' funny. I would like you to respond with all of the above please. My mom just gave me the "I want to have grandchildren before I'm too old to enjoy them" speech. I could have really used a few of those comebacks right then. Unfortunately I was too full of rage to think of anything good to say in return.

[Jennifer]

I'd go with A. But that's just me.