WOW! Just Wow.

It's quite fortuitous that I chose yesterday to post about "the baby" because said baby made his debut last night. 

At around 8:00 my family called to tell me the baby's arrival was imminent.  I gathered myself together and trekked to the hospital.  Now you might think that since I don't like the family very much I would skip out on all the hoopla but this baby is my grandfather's first great grandchild.  As much as the old bastard pisses me off sometimes I did want to be there with him when his first great-grandchild hit the scene.  (The great-grandchild I'm sure he expected me to give him but disappointment is a part of life.)

The mother, who we shall refer to from now on as Princess Grace, has a big family and when I arrived they had taken over the waiting room.  I felt really sorry for the other families awaiting the arrival of their babies because Princess Grace's family was totally in control of that waiting room.  I greeted everyone and said hello to my brother/uncle who is the grandfather of the coming babe.  (If you don't understand the brother/uncle reference and think it's some sort of southern inbreeding thing go here.)  He very quietly leans over and said, "I bet you didn't know you were coming to a tailgate party."

I sort of didn't quite know what he was talking about so I took a good long look around.  Suddenly I felt like I was in The Grove at an Ole Miss tailgate party.  On the waiting room COFFEE table was a spread the likes of which you have never seen.  Or certainly should never have seen in a hospital waiting room.  They had chicken salad.  They had potato salad.  Mixed nuts could be had by all.  Cold pasta salad, cookies, cheese straws, brownies... I kept looking around for the beer and wings.  At one point I look over and Princess Grace's uncle is making a sandwich with cocktail rye bread, Hickory Farms summer sausage, and honey mustard.  It really was the craziest shit I've ever seen and trust me I've seen some oddball shit.

I immediately called my mother to explain to her that though the chances of me actually birthing a baby are slim to none that this kind of shit would not go on while I was birthing my baby.  She responded, "Sweetie, I've already picked out the menu."

Also before the evening was out I found out that the baby will have a wet nurse.  And I really don't have a lot to say about that turn of events.  OK I do have a lot to say about it but I'm just not going to because I don't even know where to start.  I will say this... Princess Grace is perfectly capable of breast-feeding.

So that's how I spent my Monday night instead of watching Gossip Girl and The Hills.

Comments

[K]

First off I breastfeed both my girls and I loved it. I do understand if it's not for you. I get pissed at ads that make moms feel bad about not breastfeeding. I understand if their are medical reason for not breastfeeding.
But WTF having a wetnurse. That is just SO WRONG. It's just lazy. So is it she just doesn't want saggy boobies?

I have no problem with women not breastfeeding. Whatever floats yer boat. I also understand needing a wet nurse if you can't medically breastfeed but this just seems ridiculous to me.

[Murph]

A wet nurse? I don't even think the Queen of frickin' England had a wet nurse. Probably not even former Queens of England, you know, from the 18th and 19th Centuries...

Yes but a great many southern belles have had wet nurses. And here some people that thought I had princess mentality.

[Murph]

Yeah, okay, Scarlett O'Hara had Miss Prissy, but is this practice still, in 2008, you know, a practice? Maybe she just needs this woman:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/
article/2008/04/26/AR2008042601923.html

I'm not really clear on if Miss Prissy was actually a wet nurse but I get your drift. And I agree with you, the practice of having a wet nurse WHEN YOU DON'T ACTUALLY NEED ONE is pretty fucking crazy.

[star]

I LOVE the insanity of it all!

This is some funny shit. What's baby belle's name?

Why do I think it's a girl?

It's a boy and he is a junior. You think it's a girl because with that much production it seems it would have to be a girl.

[j]

Sad as you missed a VERY powerful episode of the Hills. Hopefully it should play again over the weekend. Lots of strife between Lo and Audrina. I am worried sick about Spencer and Heidi. I want them to last as a love like theirs is hard to find!!

The finale is this Monday. And thankfully it has been picked up for a 4th season.